Top Gear Show

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 7

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:34:23 GMT

On a going-for-a-song Top Gear, Lionel Richie could have probably driven 'all night long'. James and Richard took to the streets of south London to give two tall hatchbacks a good thrashing, while Jeremy drove a Mercedes with more power than Superman.

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 7 - full episode

Imagine if you took all the torque in the world and shoehorned it into a car - what would you end up with? Well, Jeremy seemed to have found the answer: the Mercedes CL65 - a car with so much power you could probably use it to travel through time. However, it turned out that even this car couldn't beat the enormous power of an eight-man tug-of-war team.

No doubt most people have had the pleasure of being in a private mini-cab. These marvels of technology have several defining traits. First, one or more of their shock absorbers must be completely broken. Second, the internal cabin temperature must never drop below 75 degrees celsius. Third, the car must never, ever exceed 25mph.

The other thing about cabs is that they have a hard life; drunk people clutching kebabs certainly takes it toll. So it was with this in mind that Richard and James ventured forth with their new super-sub-tall-family-micro cars: the Ford Focus C-Max and Renault Scenic. Could these cars withstand a night on the tiles, or would they buckle under the pressure? The conclusion? Well, simply put: don't waste your money. The boys reckoned these cars aren't much bigger, or more resilient, than their 'standard' counterparts, and they cost up to £2,000 more.

The Top Gear studio welcomed Lionel Richie - a man whose music is iconic, lives in a staggeringly huge house, and never gets rid of a car.

First shown on: 11/07/2004

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 6

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:31:40 GMT

In a house-of-the-rising-sun Top Gear, Richard found an American car that goes around corners, James decided the worst car Jaguar ever built was the best British car ever, and Jeremy drove a cube.

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 6 - full episode

Now, Japanese television has always made the rest of the world laugh. Its crazy antics are always cropping up on 'The world's most idiotic game shows 3'; and 'How to kill yourself during a quiz'. But the cars they chuck out are the cornerstone of reliability. Toyota has for years proved it's possible to bolt a car together for £9,000 and still make it last for 3 million years. So Jeremy took a look at another Japanese manufacturer's car: the Nissan Cube. Trust us, the name described it perfectly.

Jaguar used to be a British company, which meant that, although the cars were great in theory, in practice they were made out of rubbish and invariably fell apart within the first two years. However, James discovered that the most striking Jaguar of all, the XJS, can be refitted and made into something approaching a decent motor.

Our guest Terry Wogan made the Nissan Cube look fast.

Cadillac specialises in cars for people who are about to die of old age. It also has an interesting sideline in cars that look like a complete idiot designed them. But the CTS is one of the few American cars that's capable of going round a corner without sliding into a ditch.

First shown on: 13/06/2004

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 5

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:29:08 GMT

On a get-down-and-dirty Top Gear, Johnny Vaughan and Denise Van Outen blew up our reasonably priced car. We attempted to fry Richard with lightning, and got some cars really, really messy, while Jeremy got in an MG and smoked a pipe.

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 5 - full episode

We thought it would be a jolly good idea if we tried to kill Richard with a large amount of electricity. So we made sure the BBC insurance policy hadn't lapsed, borrowed a Golf, and stuck him and his shirt in a huge lightning generator. The look on his face when the first bolt hit was priceless.

Then we decided Jeremy needed to take a look at what remains of the British motor industry. The MG ZT - a Rover 75 with a Mustang engine stuffed under the hood - was what we got. To our surprise, Jeremy didn't hate it. He didn't like it much either.

Johnny Vaughan and the ever lovely Denise Van Outen came along to take a spin in the reasonably priced car. Sadly, Johnny broke the Liana before Denise got to have a go.

Now, the BMW 6 series had been accused by some (Jeremy) of being the most abhorrent creation yet to be spewed from the guts of the company. But is it any good on the beach? Jeremy, James and Richard went to the edge of the island to race a Porsche, Jaguar, and the BMW. They got them really dirty, but winner was clear: the Jag rules.

First shown on: 06/06/2004

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 4

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:25:58 GMT

On a good-sport Top Gear, we raced a Street Ka against a racing pigeon. We played darts with cars, Jeremy attempted to drive 800 miles on one tank of petrol, and Ronnie O'Sullivan came and snookered us.

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 4 - full episode

Jeremy went all green! Diesel cars are well known for their brilliant fuel economy. That's why the Americans refuse to drive them. So we wondered just how good is a diesel engine? Could Jeremy drive an Audi A8 all the way to Edinburgh and back on just one tank? It sounded absolutely insane. Even Audi laughed at us when we told it what we were doing. "Zis car can't go 800 miles on one tank of ze petrol," the firm said.

We pitted a Street KA which had the best satellite navigation system we could find, against a professional homing pigeon. The result? Well, let's just say the pigeon looked very smug.

On the whole, sport involves a lot of running around and getting hot and sweaty. There's only one sport that requires absolutely no physical prowess at all: darts. So we thought: how can we work a game of darts into Top Gear? The answer was simple. We replaced the fat, beer soaked, tattooed arm with a pneumatic cannon, and the darts with cars. Hey, presto! Car Darts. Just don't ask why.

First shown on: 30/05/2004

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 3

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:21:36 GMT

On a shirt-raising Top Gear, Jordan showed us it's possible to drive with your airbags fully deployed. Richard drove an American icon, while Jeremy got his pants in a knot.

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 3 - full episode

A £100 doesn't buy you much these days. It's probably just enough to fill up your petrol tank twice, or buy a really good pair of hair straighteners. So when we told the presenters to buy a car for less than a 'ton', you can imagine what they said. To their credit, they managed it. Jeremy bought a Volvo, James grabbed an Audi, and Richard a Rover. Then we sent them off to complete a number of challenges. Three walls and one broken bone later, Jeremy came out the winner, which made the others l-o-s-e-r-s.

Now the Dodge Charger's a bit of an icon. It's the original muscle car made famous by the film Bullitt and, of course, its striking good looks. So, could you drive one today? Well, they go for about £18,000 in good condition, and drink petrol. But this is a classic and, as Richard found out, pretty good, even by today's standards.

Taking a break from her busty schedule, Jordan joined us fully clothed (sorry lads) to take our reasonably priced car out for a spin. But was it a deflating experience?

First shown on: 23/05/2004

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 2

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:17:46 GMT

On a fat-gold-chain Top Gear, the Cadillac Escalade showed us how it's done by rappers, and we made a nun drive a monster truck.

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 2 - full episode

Jeremy and James say you can't be considered a car enthusiast until you've owned an Alfa. What they lack in reliability they more than make up for in bling. Now, you've probably seen the videos: attractive women gyrating, fast cars and deep beats. It turns out they're all singing about one thing: the Cadillac Escalade. Odd, because it does something stupid like 300 metres to the gallon, and the interior looks 'like a wheelie bin'.

It's a rule in the Top Gear production office: each week the person who comes up with the most outrageous idea gets off making the tea. This time the idea was so silly we couldn't resist doing it. The result? A monster truck, a nun, and a row of cars. Did Sister Mary rise to the challenge? Of course she did. After all, she probably had God on her side.

Even James got in on the act of being 'bling' when he took Lady Penelope's car from the Thunderbirds film out for a spin. Except there wasn't much spinning going on; it's hard to spin a car that's 8m long. But it did have an amazingly cool automatic roof and door-opening mechanism.

First shown on: 16/05/2004

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 1

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:06:27 GMT

On Apocalypse-Now Top Gear, a helicopter with guns on, a race against the clock, and mildy moist conditions - what more could you ask for?

Top Gear Season 4 Episode 1 - full episode

The Top Gear offices are famous for two things. The first is the shouting, especially when Richard's defending his shirts or the Porsche 911. The second is stupid wagers.

Jeremy, James and Richard argued about who could make it to the south of France first: Jeremy in an Aston Martin DB9, or Richard and James on a 200mph train. So we started them at the Top Gear studio in Surrey and told them to get to Casino Square, Monte Carlo. The rules were simple: Jeremy couldn't use any trains, and James and Richard couldn't use any sort of car (coaches were allowed)...

Our star in a reasonably priced car was credited as 'Whore, scenes deleted' for her work Frankenstein. She can also claim to have been part of the phenomenon that's Cold Feet. That's right, it's Fay Ripley.

We invited the Army over for a cup of tea and asked if they would mind bringing along an Apache gunship helicopter. The Apache has 12 hellfire missiles, two rocket launchers, and a machine gun that can fire 650 rounds per minute. So, the challenge: Jeremy had to drive the Lotus Exige around our track, and stop the Apache from getting a weapon's lock. Simple.

First shown on: 09/05/2004

Top Gear Season 3 Episode 9

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:03:48 GMT

On skint Top Gear, James had to play the music for this week's show on his keyboard because we can't even afford to go and buy CD's anymore. And Richard had to wear a cheap and gaudy shirt because he can't afford a nice one. Oh, sorry, apparently he actually paid good money for that shirt.

Top Gear Season 3 Episode 9 - full episode

Anyway, we might have run out of cash, but we managed to get a couple of cars to speed around in. The first of which was the frankly appalling Chrysler Crossfire. The frustrating thing is that it sounds really good, the engine's made by Mercedes, and it has loads of gadgets and a herd of cows' worth of leather. The problem is, it's just rubbish. Clearly it takes a lot more than just bunging great ingredients in a chassis to make a good car.

We took the tiny Smart roadster out. The Brabus Smart is priced slightly out of most people's reach, but then so is the standard Smart. You do get a quick car for your money, but is it really worth more than a house? Probably not, but Brabus will build you a custom car to order. So perhaps something with fewer engines...

We finally looked at two of Honda's Type R cars. The Civic Type R's a hot hatch, well designed, sporty car. Honda's very good at engines. This one will propel the car to 60mph in 6.6 seconds. Then there's the NSX. No one has bought one yet, but when they do, they aren't going to be disappointed.

First shown on: 28/12/2003

Top Gear Season 3 Episode 8

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 19:00:52 GMT

On festive Top Gear, Richard messed about in a £38 million private jet. Jeremy was in SW18 drooling over a Mercedes SL.

Top Gear Season 3 Episode 8 - full episode

For classic car lovers, there are few more perilous places to drive than the Wandsworth one-way system. It's not just the horrid traffic and buses, this danger is financial. It's a classic car garage with the power to hit a man where it hurts most. The wallet. So we sent Jeremy for a drive in a classic Merc. Despite having a top speed of 6mph and a 0-60 speed that would make a Micra look smug, the man in the jeans loved it.

Our star in a reasonably priced car was Johnny Vegas. Johnny doesn't yet hold a UK driving license, so you could have knocked us over with a feather when he did the business on the Top Gear track and got a lap time of 1.58.

Richard looked at what £9,000 buys you these days. He was surprised to discover that if you buy Nissan, it gets you a decent little car with all the modern gadgets. If you buy Boeing however, it seems you get significantly less. In fact, it gets you one hour in a 737 BBJ2. But how do the two compare? Well, one does around 90mph, the other does 540mph. The Micra has all the toys though.

First shown on: 21/12/2003

Top Gear Season 3 Episode 7

virtualmjr — Thu, 10 Mar 2011 18:57:55 GMT

On extravagant Top Gear, Hammond went to South Africa and tested Mercedes' gloriously cool SLR. Get out your Union Jack, the boys gave their verdict on the best British car. And, a roomful of celebrities came round and tested our reasonably priced car.

Top Gear Season 3 Episode 7 - full episode

Richard went abroad to top-up his tan and to look at Mercedes' new collaboration with McLaren. It has an amazing 626bhp, does more than 200mph, and goes from 0-60 in 3.8 seconds. It also happens to look like an F1 car, which is cool. In fact, you could say it's the Rachel Stevens of the car world.

Jeremy was surprised by the new MG SV. He was certainly surprised by the price, which is rather a lot more than most people would be prepared to pay for an MG. He was also quite surprised by its performance, and declared it to be 'quite a laugh', which is a good thing.

Impressionist and comic Rory Bremner drove round our track at high speed. He certainly didn't let the side down, and produced a very reasonable lap time of 1.47.9.

Then everyone made their way to the test track where they proceeded to argue about which was the best British car. Of course Jeremy reckons the Nobel is the winner, despite being made out of a Mondeo. Richard took the corner of the Morgan, which is, rather confusingly, made out of wood. James of course gets scared driving quickly, so he was happy to champion the Rover 75, which is stately, reserved and thoroughly pleasant.

First shown on: 14/12/2003